All free-thinkers want to be "good" swingers regardless of how often, with who, where or which swinging style. One of the most interesting things about this lifestyle is that most of us look at each other with comprehension, attentiveness, courtesy and respect. If you follow the following suggestions or modify them to suit your situation, you will likely become an appreciated participant.
Be courteous. Be aware that this lifestyle is full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. We would all like to be treated with courtesy, kindness, attentiveness, comprehension and sensitivity.
Hygiene and Cleanliness. There is no better or bigger turn-off than a person lacking in personal hygiene or having bad breath. Even if you take a shower before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up with you arrive at your destination. You would be surprised what a car ride can do, or undo.
Respect other people's feelings - Keep in mind that not everyone is comfortable in all situations, and that what may seem natural to you is not necessarily so for others. Make it a point to make sure that your partner is relaxed and having fun. If someone looks ill at ease, try to help that person get over the rough spots. Remember that you too were once a newcomer. If it is clear that it is not working out, remain polite and courteous. Keep in mind that not everyone sees or feels things the same way.
Do not rush in. If you are interested in swinging with certain people, let them know with an invitation. If they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say "no thank you", do not ask why! Persuasion and coercion will not change their mind and will not work in your favor. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at any time, without explanation. Never forget this.
Only do what gives you pleasure - Do not let yourself get into relations with someone who is of no interest to you. There is no reason to get involved if you do not feel comfortable. You have chosen this lifestyle to enjoy yourself. Also, do only what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
How and why say no? One of the tenets of the basic swinger etiquette is the right to say "no" to anyone. The experience has taught many of us that no one person has rights over another person. A misunderstanding can easily escalate into hurt feelings or morals. The world of swingers accepts the fact that everyone has a right to say "NO" at any time and that this should be as simple as saying "no thank you". Do not give any explanation because it is these explanations that cause problems and pain (especially if it is to begrudge something).
Alcohol and Drugs - Though swingers drink in moderation, most do not use drugs. A drink can help you relax at the right time. Its abuse can adversely affect your physical abilities as well as offend or be turn off to other people. If you need to get drunk to participate, you have not chosen the right lifestyle.
Practicing Safe Sex - It is our obligation to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS, syphilis, blennorrhea... the use of prophylactics should not offend anyone. Any person who refuses to take precautions is selfish and irresponsible. It will not be held against you if you protect yourself (and if that is the case, run!!!).
Enjoy Yourself - the most important thing to remember: have fun. Live out your fantasies and urges, explore your own sexuality and make the most out of this lifestyle.
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